


Little Numbers

by iloverbardi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Wrong number
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23373511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloverbardi/pseuds/iloverbardi
Summary: Remus sends a text message to a wrong number by accident.(note, this fic has been modified from an original Glee fic and is not my own work)
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [em-dawg](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=em-dawg).
  * Inspired by [Little Numbers](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/574906) by iknowitainteasy. 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is an altered story and was not written by me! Author of the original story can be found by user "Iknowitainteasy" on LiveJournal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting Key:  
> Remus - normal
> 
> Sirius - Italics

**Thurs 2 Oct (2:33pm)**

Hey, would you mind meeting me at 4 instead of 3? A dog just threw up on me (no, really) and I have to make a detour.

(2:35)

_ a) Who is this? and b) Why do we have a meeting? and c) How does that even happen? Mostly a) though. _

(2:36)

Oh god, sorry! New phone, wrong number! Never mind.

(2:37)

_ I'm never gonna hear that story, am I? _

(2:39)

You're oddly interested for a stranger. It's not even that great a story.

(2:40)

_ What can I say? I'm stuck in an exceptionally dull class. You could've been my saviour. _

(2:41)

Pay attention, you might get something out of it! Gotta run! Sorry again.

(2:42)

_...are you a teacher? Anyway. Goodbye then, puppy magnet! _

******

**Thurs 9 Oct (2:30pm)**

_ So yesterday I saw a dog throw up on the streets. It reminded me of you. _

(2:35)

...Who is this?

(2:35)

_ Your wrong number from last week. _

(2:36)

Seriously?!

(2:37)

Bored again?

(2:38)

_ Ah so you *do* remember me! It's 2:38pm on a Thursday; of course I'm bored. _

(2:42)

What's at 2:38pm on a Thursday?

(2:43)

_ History of Magic lecture. _

(2:45)

That doesn't sound as boring as "normal" history.

(2:46)

_ Believe me, it is, especially when you've known this stuff since you were 10. So yes, I've got nothing to do and your number popped up in my text history. _

(2:48)

You're weird.

(2:49)

_ You're the one who dances with dogs. _

(2:50)

Again, you're weird.

(2:51)

_ And yet you keep replying. What does that say about you? _

(2:52)

Should I change my phone number? Are you gonna come find me at night and cut me open while there's creepy opera music playing in the background?

(2:55)

_ Wow. Should I change *my* number? _

(2:56)

I dunno, you tell me. A puppy thought I was worth puking on. Maybe that makes me detestable.

(2:56)

_ Detestable in that puppy's eyes, sure, but full on serial killer? I'm not too worried. _

(2:57)

_ What *did* you do to that puppy? _

(2:58)

Can't let it go, can you?

(2:59)

_ You brought it up. Don't blame me. _

(2:59)

_ You've got 5 more minutes. _

(3:00)

What and then you'll vanish?

(3:01)

_ You wish. _

(3:03)

_ Time is ticking! _

(15:04)

Remus.

(3:04)

_...Gesundheit? _

(3:05)

?!? My name is Remus.

(3:05)

_ Okay, sure, why not. _

(3:06)

You're not gonna tell me your name are you? I knew you'd be the serial killer in this equation.

(3:08)

Really?

(3:09)

_ See you same time next week, Remus! _

(3:10)

...Now I just feel used.

*******

**Thurs 16 Oct (2:20pm)**

_ Hey Remus. _

(2:22)

_ Remus. _

(2:24)

_ RemusRemusRemus. _

(2:28)

Do you just like saying my name or...?

(2:28)

_ Oh there you are. Hi! _

(2:29)

Hello, Wrong Number.

(2:30)

_ Ha! _

(2:30)

Is there something you want?

(2:31)

_ Start where we left off. I'm still waiting on that dog story. _

(2:33)

And I keep telling you there's no actual story.

(2:34)

_ You do know that by refusing to tell me you're just building it up, right? _

(2:34)

Whatever.

(2:36)

_ Someone's in a crappy mood. You didn't have another puppy throw up on you, did you? _

(2:37)

No.

(2:37)

_ Cat? _

(2:38)

What? No!

(2:38)

_ Kangaroo? _

(2:39)

Are you on crack?

(2:41)

_ Hardly. Caffeine maybe. Gotta get through this lecture somehow. The prof doesn't like it if we fall asleep. _

(2:43)

I wonder why.

(2:44)

_ Wanna tell me what's going on? _

(2:45)

From serial killer to therapist?

(2:45)

_ Is there a difference? _

(2:46)

Hey now.

(2:46)

_ You're not a therapist, are you? _

(2:47)

No, but my mother is.

(2:47)

_ I'm sorry. _

(2:49)

For insulting my mother or for the fact that she's a therapist?

(2:49)

_ Does it matter? _

(2:49)

Hm.

(2:50)

_ Come on. _

(2:51)

Maybe you should just focus on your lecture for once.

(3:01)

_ Sirius. _

(3:02)

Excuse me?

(3:02)

_ My name. _

(3:03)

Sure, why not.

(3:05)

_ Oh you think you're clever now. _

(3:05)

_ All right, we're not strangers anymore. Spill. _

(3:06)

Technically we're still strangers.

(3:06)

_ Remus. _

(3:07)

Just go back to your lecture or whatever you did before you starting using me as a distraction, okay?

(3:08)

_ Wow, okay. _

(3:10)

_ Sorry if I upset you. _

********

**Thurs 23 Oct (2:25pm)**

Hey... I'm sorry. About last week.

(2:26)

_ Well, hello. Sticking to our usual time slot, I see? _

(2:27)

It's our thing!

(2:27)

_ We have a thing? _

(2:28)

Apparently we do.

(2:30)

_ So? _

(2:30)

So?

(2:31)

_ About last week. _

(2:32)

Oh. Yeah... I was having a shitty week.

(2:33)

_ And it's better now? _

(2:35)

I guess.

(2:35)

_ My offer still stands. _

(2:40)

Do we really wanna do that?

(2:40)

_ Do what? _

(2:41)

Details. Personal... stuff.

(2:42)

_ Remus. _

(2:42)

Sirius.

(2:42)

_ Why do you keep texting me? _

(2:43)

You keep texting me!

(2:45)

_ "No you keep texting me!" Seriously, Remus? _

_ And you started this time. So why? _

(2:45)

See, that's what I don't know!

(2:46)

_ Charming. _

(2:50)

Look... okay you know what? I'm behind on half of my courses (yeah, I'm a student... details!), my workload is insane, I'm really starting to freak out because what if I can't keep up, this was supposed to be easier... one of my professors is a biased pervert, AND I got dumped last week.

(2:51)

Is that really what you wanted to talk about?

(2:55)

I didn't think so.

(2:59)

Shit, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you all... that.

(3:00)

_ Did it cheat on you? _

(3:01)

What??

(3:04)

_ The puppy. You said you got dumped. Did it cheat on you by throwing up on someone else? Happens to the best of us. I'm sure it's not personal. _

(3:04)

_...I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. _

(3:05)

Thank you.

(3:06)

_ Are you holding up a huge sarcasm sign I'm not seeing or...? _

(3:09)

No, I'm serious. That actually made me smile.

(3:10)

_ :) _

(3:11)

Really, Sirius? A smiley face?

(3:12)

_ What? I get ineloquent when I'm insecure. _

(3:13)

Insecure? Aw.

(3:13)

_ Oh shut up. _

(3:15)

There you go!

(3:16)

: _ P _

(3:17)

_ Sorry, gotta run. Class dismissed. Next week? _

(3:18)

:)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is an altered story and was not written by me! Author of the original story can be found by user "Iknowitainteasy" on LiveJournal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting Key:  
> Remus - normal
> 
> Sirius - Italics

This is weird, right?

(2:33)

_ Well, hello to you too. _

(2:33)

Hi.

(2:35)

_ You were saying? _

(2:36)

Weird. This. Don't you think? I've never had weekly text dates with a stranger before.

(2:37)

_ My, had I known this was a date I would've worn something else. _

(2:42)

_ This is the part where you chime in with a heartfelt "God no, you look stunning!" _

(2:42)

_ Which I do by the way. _

(2:43)

Conceited much?

(2:43)

And I have no idea what you look like.

(2:44)

_ I know. Details. _

(2:45)

You were the one who wanted details if I remember correctly.

(2:46)

_ True. And you left me hanging. _

(2:48)

I did not! I told you about my crappy week. And since when is this about obligations?

(2:48)

_ You just gave me a rough outline. Hardly satisfying. _

(2:50)

You made a puppy joke and ruined the mood.

(2:53)

I'm starting to think you have a thing for puppy jokes.

(2:54)

_ I'm starting to think you have a thing for me having a thing for puppy jokes. _

(2:55)

I've got no problems with details.

(2:56)

_ Really? _

(2:56)

Really.

(2:58)

_ I'm gonna remember that. For next time. _

(2:59)

Why do I get the feeling that you actually do vanish some time after 3pm?

(3:01)

_ Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. _

(3:02)

Are you some kind of afternoon version of Cinderella?

(3:04)

_ What does that make you? My fairy godmother? _

(3:05)

Better than your evil stepmother!

(3:06)

_ Goodbye, Remus! _

(3:07)

Have fun at your royal ball!

(3:08)

_...Dork. _

(3:10)

:)

******

**Sun 2 Nov (11:35am)**

Do you ever walk through Central Park and wonder how the trees got there?

(11:45)

_ That has got to be one of the strangest texts I've ever received. _

(11:46)

_ Wait, what makes you think I live in New York? _

(11:46)

_ And in case you haven't noticed, it's not Thursday. _

(11:47)

Just a feeling.

(11:47)

And I'm going rogue.

(11:49)

_ A feeling? How can that be a feeling? _

(11:52)

_ So tell me, Sarah Palin, are you in Central Park right now? _

(11:53)

Why? Does that make your stalker genes tingle?

(11:54)

_ I thought we were past the serial killer paranoia. _

(11:56)

Just wondering if you technically could stalk me right now.

(12:00pm)

_ Is that your weird way of trying to confirm whether I live in NY or not? _

(12:01)

Is it working?

(12:02)

_ No. _

(12:02)

Then no.

******

**Thurs 6 Nov (2:25pm)**

Can I ask you something?

(2:27)

_...I love how you're just getting right to the point lately. Good afternoon! How are you? Fine, thank you. _

(2:27)

_ Manners, Remus! _

(2:29)

There's nothing wrong with my manners.

(2:30)

_ Ooookay. _

(2:32)

_ Is it personal? _

(2:33)

What is?

(2:33)

_ Your question. _

(2:34)

Oh. Yeah. I guess.

(2:36)

_ What about your aversion to details? _

(2:38)

I thought we covered that last week.

(2:38)

You said you'd remember.

(2:40)

_ Yes but maybe you just crawled back into your serial killer-proof cave in the meantime. _

(2:41)

Siriuseee.

(2:42)

_ Okay. No need to get whiny. _

(2:43)

Okay?

(2:43)

_ Okay. _

(2:44)

How old are you?

(2:47)

_ That's what you're going with? That's your big personal question? _

(2:47)

I never said it was gonna be life-changing.

(2:48)

_ How old do I sound like? _

(2:49)

Right, cause that's just a minefield waiting to be stepped in.

(2:50)

_ Excuse me? Now I really want to know your answer to that one. _

(2:51)

Not fair!

(2:53)

_ This coming from the guy who had a "feeling" about me living in New York. _

(2:54)

I still think I'm right about that one.

(2:54)

_ Well, how old are you? _

(2:55)

Avoiding the question again?

(2:55)

And I asked first.

(2:57)

_ Then answer first too. That way you'll have a set. _

(2:58)

22.

(2:58)

Your turn.

(3:01)

_ Turn to do what? _

(3:02)

Are you usually this obnoxious or...?

(3:03)

_ 22. _

(3:04)

*not* a minor!

(3:04)

Well, it's been nice knowing you...

(3:06)

_ Very funny. _

(3:07)

Okay, so... Sirius, 22, living in NY (don't even try to deny it!), studying something that involves theater, snarky...

(3:07)

_ Close, Remus. So close. _

(3:08)

Oh yeah, I forgot conceited!

(3:08)

_ Remind me why I keep talking to you. _

(3:09)

Because I'm irresistibly charming? Even through text message!

(3:09)

_ Hardly. _

(3:11)

Because I'm super mysterious and you can't help but be intrigued?

(3:11)

_ Now you're just embarrassing yourself. _

(3:12)

Okay alright. Because my texts are the best thing about your Thursdays!

(3:16)

Ha! You're really thinking about this one, aren't you?

(3:16)

_ You wish. _

(3:17)

It's ok, Sirius, 22, living in NY. Let it happen.

(3:18)

_ Now who's conceited? _

(3:18)

Now who's in denial?

(3:18)

_ Now who's about to end this conversation? _

(3:19)

Would that be you?

(3:20)

_ See you next week, Remus! _

(3:21)

You can't just leave whenever things get real!

(3:22)

_ I can do a lot of things! Watch me. _

(3:23)

Is that supposed to impress me?

(3:26)

You're already gone, aren't you?

(3:30)

Which doesn't actually make sense. Who leaves their phone lying around for a whole week?

(3:35)

Nobody. Nobody does that in the 21st century. So you're just ignoring me at this point.

(3:37)

Which is fine.

(3:40)

I'm really just talking to myself now, right?

(3:41)

Okay.

******

**Sun 9 Nov (9:55am)**

And the squirrels, Sirius! What about the squirrels?

(10:00)

_ Are you sleep-texting? _

(10:01)

No.

(10:02)

_ Are you drunk? _

(10:02)

It's 10am on a Sunday!

(10:04)

_ Exactly! It's 10am on a *Sunday*! _

(10:05)

Come on.

(10:08)

_...What about the squirrels, Remus? _

(10:10)

How did they get here? Did somebody put them here or do they just come with the trees, like a package deal?

(10:12)

_ Am I sleep-texting? _

(10:13)

Dunno. Are you?

(10:17)

_ You're in Central Park again, aren't you? _

(10:18)

_ Is this where you hang out every Sunday? _

(10:19)

_ And how do you come up with these questions? How? _

(10:20)

I'm serious!

(10:21)

_ I'm sure you are! _

(10:22)

_ Why don't you just google it? I bet Google is a morning person. _

(10:26)

Sometimes I feel like people stopped thinking the moment Google came around. What if everyone relied on it all the time? It's a dead end. Someone has to come up with the stuff that's on there.

(10:28)

_ Oh god. _

(10:29)

_ Look, why don't you just go back to bed before you hurt yourself? Can you do that? _

(10:31)

That doesn't answer my question.

(10:33)

_ Squirrels, Remus. Squirrels. I think we'll survive this one. _

(10:35)

Will we though? What if Nov 9th will forever be known as the Squirrel Apocalypse? Could you live with yourself then?

(10:37)

_ What are you? _

(10:38)

I'm adorable.

(10:40)

_ Let me get back to you on that one. _

(10:42)

_ I need to get coffee or else I will go and find the next squirrel and you do not want to know what's gonna happen then. _

(10:44)

So not a morning person!

(10:45)

_ You think? _

(10:45)

:P

(10:46)

_ Why do I start thinking that you just like winding me up? _

(10:47)

Google it!

(10:47)

...

(10:49)

Does that mean I win?

(10:55)

_ Would that shut you up? _

(10:56)

_ Cause then yes, yes you win. _

(10:58)

Enjoy your coffee, Sirius!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is an altered story and was not written by me! Author of the original story can be found by user "Iknowitainteasy" on LiveJournal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting Key:
> 
> Remus - normal
> 
> Sirius - Italics

**Tues 11 Nov (1:33pm)**

I hate Tuesdays.

(1:55)

_ Not Mondays? _

(1:57)

No, Tuesdays.

(1:59)

_ Do you like going against the tide in general or is that really how you feel? _

(2:03)

I don't hate Tuesdays ironically. What am I, a hipster? I really just hate them.

(2:04)

_ Why? _

(2:06)

Because they're pointless.

(2:08)

_ Care to elaborate? _

(2:15)

So everyone knows what to expect when it comes to Mondays, right? You go back to work or whatever you go back to on your Mondays and it sucks but you know it's supposed to suck and that it sucks for everyone. You know how to deal with it and you've got some common ground. People like hating on Mondays. It's a group sport. And then it's over and you think "Hey cool, we survived another Monday." But then Tuesday comes around and the group sport is forgotten because "Calm down, it's just a Tuesday" and it's useless. It's not the beginning of the week, it's not the middle of the week and good god, it's sure isn't the end of the week, is it? It just is. It just is and it sucks.

(2:20)

_ Wow. _

(2:21)

_ That was... _

(2:26)

_ You read the word "elaborate" and really went to town with it. _

(2:26)

_ Are you sure this is a general thing? _

(2:27)

Positive.

(2:30)

_ So nothing out of the ordinary happened today? Nothing at all? _

(2:31)

No.

(2:33)

_ I think I liked you better when you were sunshine and rainbows. _

(2:35)

Okay, maybe I don't feel like sunshine today. Maybe today I'm cloudy with sunny intervals. Would that still be okay?

(2:36)

_ Sure. _

(2:37)

And what about cloudy with outbreaks of rain?

(2:39)

_ Heavy rain? _

(2:39)

Patchy bits of light rain.

(2:41)

_ Sure, yes. _

(2:43)

Good.

(2:44)

How about full on hurricane?

(2:45)

_ Are you a hurricane, Remus? _

(2:45)

Not today.

(2:47)

_ Then let's cross that bridge when we get there. _

(2:55)

Thank you.

(2:56)

_ What for? _

(2:57)

For letting me elaborate.

(2:59)

_ Anytime. _

******

**Wed 12 Nov (1:03am)**

_ Did you know that a squirrel loses its fur if you feed it only peanuts? _

(1:06)

I did not know that!

(1:08)

_ Well, apparently it's true. And the peanut isn't even a nut. _

(1:11)

Such wisdom at this late hour!

(1:11)

How do you know that?

(1:13)

_ I know things. _

(1:15)

Did you google squirrels, Sirius?

(1:15)

_ I know things! _

(1:17)

You totally googled squirrels. I don't know whether to be touched or appalled.

(1:17)

_ I do know things! _

(1:18)

Sirius.

(1:18)

_ I'm very knowledgeable! _

(1:19)

Siriuseeee.

(1:21)

_ Okay fine, I googled it. I can't sleep and I do the stupidest things when I can't sleep. Happy? _

(1:24)

Very. (Not about your sleeplessness though.)

(1:25)

_ What's your excuse? Wild party in the middle of the week? _

(1:28)

If only! I have to hand in an essay by tomorrow...

(1:30)

But I'm printing it as I'm writing this.

(1:31)

_ Ouch. I'm gonna try sleeping, then. Again. Goodnight! _

(1:34)

Good luck and goodnight!

(1:37)

(You should try counting squirrels!)

(1:38)

_ That's beneath me. Guess what I'm counting? _

(1:40)

Alpacas?

(1:41)

_ Ignoring the weirdness that is you in 3...2...1... _

(1:43)

Tell me!

(1:45)

_ Puppies throwing up on you. It's not a pretty sight. _

(1:47)

Cause that's not weird at all.

(1:49)

_ It's your life, Remus. It's real. _

(1:51)

I think you should go to sleep.

(1:53)

_ But they just keep coming! How can you live like that? _

(1:53)

Sleep.

******

**Wed 12 Nov (5pm)**

_ I'm sorry about last night. I was up for 19 hours at that point. _

(5:33)

Relax! I think it was adorable.

(5:34)

_ You think everything is adorable. You probably thought the puppy was adorable. _

(5:34)

:P

******

**Sat 15 Nov (12:35am)**

It's weird to not hear from you on a Thursday.

(12:36)

Is it weird that I think it's weird?

(12:48)

_ We already established your weirdness. Several times. Tell me something new! _

(12:49)

It's going to snow tomorrow.

(12:50)

_ No it's not! _

(12:52)

What are you, the weather report?

(12:54)

_ No, apparently that's you. And you're defective. _

(1:03)

Okay, I'm gonna tell you something.

(1:04)

Remember Tuesday?

(1:06)

_ The day that will forever be known as Remus-could-be-a-hurricane-day from now on? _

(1:08)

It was "cloudy with..." something.

(1:09)

And remember when I had this shitty week in October?

(1:09)

_ Yes? _

(1:15)

Well, yesterday was a continuation of that. I said I got dumped, right? It wasn't soul-crushing, it wasn't life-changing, I guess I didn't care enough for it to be much more than another unpleasantry in a week of unpleasantries (or maybe that's what I want it to be? If I were insane, I'd ask my mother to analyze me, but I'm not, so... we'll never know!) – but it still sucks to see your ex loving someone else up on campus just weeks after. While you're having lunch. On the bench next to theirs.

(1:17)

_ The situations you get yourself into... _

(1:18)

_ I'm sorry. _

(1:20)

I'm fine. Like I said, I guess it wasn't meant to be, but...

(1:21)

_ It's still less than ideal. _

(1:22)

Did you confront her about it?

(1:25)

Thank you!!!

(1:25)

_??? _

(1:27)

For once again making me laugh when I needed a laugh.

(1:27)

_???? _

(1:29)

Okay, you were being serious, wow.

(1:30)

No, I didn't talk to him at all. I fled. With dignity. But yeah, I got out of there as fast as I could, without looking like a fool.

(1:35)

_ Oh. _

(1:36)

Oh? You don't think I can look anything but a fool, right?

(1:38)

_ No. No, I'm pretty sure you were as graceful as a racehorse stung by a wasp. _

(1:39)

_ I guess I didn't want to assume. _

(1:40)

Assume away.

(1:41)

_ Because it's true? _

(1:42)

What is?

(1:42)

_ Remus! You're ridiculous! _

(1:44)

I'm also very gay. Happy?

(1:44)

_ Is it supposed to make me happy? _

(1:46)

I don't know. I thought maybe it would.

(1:47)

_ Remus. _

(1:47)

Sorry. Too much?

(1:48)

_ I kind of set myself up for that one, didn't I? _

(1:50)

Kinda.

(1:51)

On second thought, no. That crossed a line. I'm known for stupid jokes. Sorry.

(1:52)

_ Always the gentleman. _

(1:54)

I keep forgetting that we don't actually know each other.

(1:55)

Weird, huh?

(1:57)

You were the one who wanted details a couple of weeks ago and now look what you got yourself into!

(1:57)

_ Remus _ .

(1:59)

I know, I know. I'm established weirdness. I'm gonna shut up.

(2:02)

_ Look, it's fine. Let's forget about it. This was about you feeling crappy and wanting to talk about it and nothing else. That's okay. _

(2:03)

_ And Remus? _

(2:04)

Yeah?

(2:05)

_ I have a boyfriend. So this doesn't have to be awkward. _

(2:16)

Oh. Okay.

(2:18)

Phew. I thought I'd ruined this!

(2:20)

_ My one and only text message-friendship based on wrong numbers and puppies? _

(2:21)

Yeah. That.

(2:23)

_ You'd have to try a little harder than that. _

(2:24)

Noted!

(2:27)

I'm gonna say goodnight for now, I've got a class tomorrow. Or today. Whatever now is.

(2:28)

_ On a Saturday? _

(2:29)

Cruel, huh?

(2:30)

_ Very. I'd file a complaint. _

(2:30)

Been there, done that. Goodnight!

(2:31)

_ Sleep well! _

******

**Sun 16 Nov (1:37pm)**

_ How was Central Park? _

(2:05)

_ Did you get lost? _

(2:16)

_ Or maybe the squirrels got fed up with you trying to investigate their history and dragged you into their cave? _

(2:20)

_ (Because squirrels live in caves, everyone knows that...) _

******

**Tues 18 Nov (8:17pm)**

_ I hope your Tuesday was tolerable this time! _

******

**Thurs 20 Nov (3:04pm)**

It wasn't! But I'm used to it, right? Thank you, though.

(4:30)

_ Who is this? _

(4:36)

I thought we were past that?

(4:38)

_ And I thought you had manners. _

(4:39)

_ Are you seriously randomly replying to a text I sent two days ago? _

(4:40)

I'm sorry!

(4:41)

_ Yes well... _

(4:42)

Are you mad at me?

(4:42)

_ No? _

(4:43)

Is that a question?

(4:50)

You are mad at me!

(4:51)

_ You could have been dead. _

(4:54)

I'm not dead! I'm just having one of those weeks.

(5:01)

Did you really think I could've been dead?

(5:02)

_ No. _

(5:03)

_ Hurt by the squirrel mafia? Maybe. _

(5:05)

There's no such thing!

(5:07)

Since when are you the sane person in this relationship?

(5:10)

_ Relationship? _

(5:11)

You know what I mean.

(5:20)

Can I just say that I'm sorry and that it won't happen again?

(5:21)

_ That doesn't explain it, though! _

(5:22)

You're not making this easy for me, are you?

(5:25)

_ I never said I was easy. _

(5:26)

And I never said I was perfect.

(5:28)

_ What? _

(5:30)

Look, if you wanna be pissed at me for that, fine. But when did this start being a responsibility?

(5:32)

_...Remus, calm down. I was only messing with you. You're not obligated to anything here, you know that. _

(5:35)

Okay good, cause I'm not gonna be around for the next week either and I don't want you to think that I'm dead and lying around in a ditch somewhere.

(5:36)

_ Remus. _

(11:33pm)

Shit. I'm sorry. Really really sorry. I'm tired, okay? I'm so very tired and things keep happening and... I'm sorry okay?

(11:45)

_ Do you want to talk about it? _

(11:47)

No, it's fine. But can you give me a week?

(11:48)

_ Sure. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is an altered story and was not written by me! Author of the original story can be found by user "Iknowitainteasy" on LiveJournal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting Key:  
> Remus - normal
> 
> Sirius - Italics

**Thurs 27 Nov (7:30pm)**

Happy Thanksgiving, Sirius!

(9:45)

_ Happy Thanksgiving, Remus! _

(10:17)

Hi.

(10:19)

_ Hi. _

(10:20)

I guess I owe you an apology.

(10:22)

_ Before you say something else, can I go first? _

(10:22)

Yeah, sure.

(10:29)

_ I've had some time to think about this and I'd like to state once and for all that you don't have to be worried about the things you share with me, even if it's something that's troubling you in your life. Especially then. You don't have to tell me anything, but you can. We may not know each other very well, but I like you and I like this weird pen pal (text pal?) thing that we've got going on. Maybe because we don't really know each other, we can talk about anything. _

(10:31)

_ And you need to stop apologizing. Whatever it was, I'm sure you had a good reason and I tend to snap at people whenever I'm stressed, so I get it. _

(10:33)

_ I could just delete your number if I wanted to, but I don't. _

(10:36)

That's almost bordering on "sappy".

(10:38)

_ It wasn't that sappy! But yes okay, fine, be that way. Ruin my moment of honesty. _

(10:40)

I've had this whole speech prepared...

(10:41)

_ You could still give me that speech! I like a good speech. _

(10:43)

No, now I just feel like a fool...

(10:44)

_ You understand what I was trying to say there though, right? _

(10:46)

Yes.

(10:48)

Sirius?

(10:48)

_ Yes? _

(10:50)

I don't want to delete your number, either.

(10:51)

_ Sappy! _

(10:53)

You started it!

(10:55)

_ So how was your day? _

(10:55)

_ Are you in NY? Or does your family live somewhere else? _

(10:59)

I'm in NY.

(11:01)

_ You're actually from New York? _

(11:02)

No I'm from Minnesota.

(11:03)

Why, are you from New York?

(11:05)

_ No, I'm from London. _

(11:05)

Wow.

(11:06)

Long way from home.

(11:07)

_ Yeah there's not as much of an acting scene in London, so I came here. _

(11:08)

_ Originally it was just for school, but now I think I'll stay. _

(11:10)

I thought I was only moving here for school too, I was gonna go to LA when I graduated.

(11:11)

I'm not sure I will anymore.

(11:14)

_ New York has a way of drawing you in until you never want to leave. _

(11:15)

It does, yeah.

******

**Sun 30 Nov (11:02am)**

This is a Central Park text.

(11:10)

_ My favorite. _

(11:12)

_ Where is your question, though? _

(11:12)

No question today. We're just enjoying this fine Sunday morning! Snow! First snow of the year!

(11:13)

_ We? _

(11:16)

Padfoot and I.

(11:20)

_ Okay... _

(11:21)

_ Who's Padfoot? _

(11:23)

Wait a second.

(11:28)

_ Waiting! _

(11:30)

Sorry, he's beside himself and just won't hold still long enough. Snow is his favorite. Can't blame him!

(11:31)

_ What are you doing??? _

(11:32)

Hold on!

(11:33)

_ You are starting to scare me. _

(11:34)

Don't be ridiculous.

(11:34)

We're very friendly.

(11:35)

_ Are you done now? _

(11:36)

Impatient!

(11:37)

There. I'm covered in snow now. I hope you're both happy.

(11:38)

_ You have a dog named Padfoot? _

(11:39)

_ You have a dog?! _

(11:40)

He's not my dog. He's my neighbors dog. He's not exactly the youngest anymore (neither is Padfoot, but he keeps forgetting that...) and I take his dog out for a walk every Sunday.

(11:42)

_ The Central Park secret you've been keeping from me! _

(11:44)

I wouldn't call it a secret, but yes.

(11:49)

_ Wait. Wait a second. Is that the dog? _

(11:50)

What dog?

(11:51)

_ You know – THE dog. _

(11:53)

I've got no idea what you're talking about.

(11:53)

_ Oh, but it is! _

(11:55)

Padfoot would like you to know that 10-year-old dogs have sensitive stomachs, thank you very much.

(11:58)

_ Best Sunday morning ever. _

(12:01)

This isn't funny.

(12:03)

_ Sure _ .

(12:05)

_ I feel like I know you a little bit better now. _

(12:06)

Glad I could help.

(12:09)

_ Enjoy your day in the snow! _

(12:11)

We're actually about to have coffee. It's getting cold.

(12:12)

_ You and Padfoot. _

(12:14)

Correct.

(12:37)

_ What's his coffee order? _

(12:40)

A tall skinny caramel latte with an extra shot.

(12:42)

_ Not bad. _

(12:44)

Right?

(12:45)

He says the caramel matches his fur.

(12:49)

_ I think I like this dog. _

(12:52)

And I think I love him.

******

**Tues 2 Dec (7:34am)**

****

(7:40)

What are you trying to tell me?

(7:41)

_ What am I... good god, Remus, Tuesdays really do make you grumpy. _

(7:42)

_ And, because I know that, I'm sending you this picture of a squirrel who got adopted by a dog! _

(7:43)

Why?

(7:45)

_...to brighten your Tuesday! _

(7:48)

_ Clearly it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. _

(7:50)

I just got up.

(7:52)

_ Yes. Okay. Cute. Thanks for the information. That doesn't change anything. My first part of the mission has failed. _

(7:55)

Mission?

(7:56)

_ Shhhh _ .

~

(9:23am)

Should I call the Secret Service?

(9:45)

_ Don't be silly. This mission is for your benefit. _

(9:47)

And yet I'm scared. Why am I scared?

(9:48)

_ You believe in the squirrel mafia. I bet frolicking fawns on a spring meadow give you the creeps. _

(9:51)

Are we talking about two fawns or more than five?

(9:52)

_ Forget about the fawns, Remus! _

(9:59)

_ Are you busy today? _

(10:01)

I've got the afternoon off.

(10:03)

Why?

(10:05)

_ Just checking. _

~

(12:03pm)

_ Do you know the coffee shop at 123 4th Avenue between 12th and 13th streets? _

(12:20)

I think so?

(12:21)

_ Yes or no? _

(12:23)

Yes.

(12:25)

_ Okay. I want you to go there and tell them your name. Any time today, but it has to be today. _

(12:26)

Now you're really starting to scare me.

(12:29)

_ Just do it, Remus. _

~

(1:05pm)

[Click!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uw91uKRwJI) [_http://youtu.be/ouw91uKRwJI_](http://youtu.be/ouw91uKRwJI)

(1:23)

I want one!!!

(1:24)

Sirius, can I have one?!

(1:27)

Is this part of your mission?

(1:33)

_ What's my mission? _

(1:39)

Luring me into a false sense of security with baby animals, while secretly planning to get rid of me in a coffee shop?

(1:55)

_ Close! _

~

(5:07pm)

Your mission. Whatever it is, I love it.

(5:33)

_ Did you go? _

(5:34)

Yes I did. I can't believe you did that!

(5:36)

_ So you're not scared anymore? _

(5:37)

Who'd be scared of free coffee? Not me.

(5:40)

No, really, thank you.

(5:41)

_ Did it brighten your Tuesday? _

(5:44)

Yes. Yes it did.

(5:46)

_ Then you're quite welcome. _

(5:59)

Was this a one-time thing or do I get coffee every Tuesday from now on?

(6:01)

_ Don't push it. _

~

(10:34pm)

Are you friends with one of the baristas?

(10:45)

_ Is that what you think about before going to bed? _

(10:47)

Are you?

(10:50)

_ What if I was? _

(10:53)

Omg!

(10:53)

_ "Omg"? Really, Remus? _

(10:54)

You sneaky scheming... thing!!!

(10:56)

_ You're delightfully eloquent tonight. _

(10:57)

I'm going to bed now, but this isn't over! ;)

(10:59)

_ Yes. Want to know what's not over? My mission. _

(11:01)

I refuse to be scared.

(11:03)

_ Good. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the locations of where they're living is not accurate! I'm keeping it the same as the original story to make things easier, as I would have to change a lot of major plot points. Happy Reading!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is an altered story and was not written by me! Author of the original story can be found by user "Iknowitainteasy" on LiveJournal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting Key:
> 
> Remus - normal
> 
> Sirius - Italics

**_Wed 3 Dec (4:56pm)_ **

Did you talk to your friend yet?

_ (5:10) _

_ What friend? _

_ (5:11) _

The friend at the coffee shop.

_ (5:15) _

_ I never said I had a friend at the coffee shop. _

_ (5:16) _

But you did!

_ (5:16) _

_ Do you *want* me to have friend at the coffee shop? _

_ (5:19) _

Are you really trying to make me believe that you told some random strangers that a guy named Remus would be stopping by and that they were to give him whatever he wants?

_ (5:20) _

  1. _a) Strangers? They're my coffee people. b) Anything you want?_



_ (5:22) _

  1. a) So is that your regular coffee place? b) That's what they told me.



_ (5:25) _

  1. _a) Now, answering that would be reckless. b) That seems like a dangerous thing to say to you. I guess they didn't know better, I should have warned them._



_ (5:27) _

Were you there?

_ (5:28) _

_? _

_ (5:28) _

At the coffee shop. Don't play dumb! ;)

_ (5:33) _

_ No, I wasn't. _

_ (5:35) _

Yeah, just like you don't have a friend working there.

_ (5:45) _

_ You're such a stubborn skeptic. _

_ (5:46) _

And you're full of shit! :P

_ (5:47) _

_ Hey now! Someone doesn't want another coffee next Tuesday... _

_ (5:49) _

Sure, gives you another chance to have your friends spy on me.

_ (5:53) _

I really want to believe you weren't there.

_ (5:54) _

_ Why? _

_ (5:59) _

You'd either be the second half of an old grumpy couple fighting over the right amount of sugar or a rude business woman, who thought it would be okay to cut me off in line. Not to mention the weird kid with the Chad Kroeger haircut.

_ (6:02) _

_ Well! _

_ (6:05) _

_ I could be anyone. _

_ (6:08) _

But you weren't there.

_ (6:10) _

_ But I wasn't there. _

_ ****** _

**_Thurs 4 Dec (10:24am)_ **

_ This is going to be the most boring Thursday of my entire life. _

_ (10:25) _

_ I suggest a Q&A. _

_ (10:45) _

Who's doing the Q and who's doing the A?

_ (10:55) _

_ We'll take turns. Are you in? _

_ (10:56) _

I'm in.

_ (10:57) _

Wait. Are there gonna be rules?

_ (10:59) _

_ Do you need rules? _

_ (11:04) _

What if I don't want to answer something?

_ (11:13) _

_ What kind of questions do you think I'll be asking? _

_ (11:14) _

_ But okay, you can use "squirrel" as your safe word. _

_ (11:17) _

I feel like I'm not being taken seriously.

_ (11:20) _

_ And nothing but questions and answers all day. _

_ (11:20) _

_ Agreed? _

_ (11:23) _

Oddly determined, but agreed.

_ (11:25) _

_ I'll go first. _

_ (11:27) _

Of course.

_ (11:29) _

_ Which school are you attending? _

_ (11:29) _

Squirrel.

_ (11:30) _

_ Remus! _

_ (11:32) _

What?!

_ (11:33) _

_ I'll be nice. You can ask another question. _

_ (11:45) _

Fine.

_ (11:46) _

_ What's your favorite color? (Yes, that's what you get for being a spoilsport so early in the game.) _

_ (11:59) _

Mature.

_ (12:00) _

Maroon, or gray.

_ (12:34) _

_ It's your turn. _

_ (12:35) _

I know. Trying to come up with the perfect first question.

_ (12:36) _

_ Don't hurt yourself. _

_ (12:47) _

Can you change a tire?

_ (12:49) _

_ Whatever happened to coming up with the perfect first question? _

_ (12:50) _

Answering with another question is not allowed!

_ (12:51) _

_ That wasn't a rule. _

_ (12:54) _

It's a rule now.

_ (12:55) _

And shush. It was too much pressure so I went with the most random question instead.

_ (12:57) _

_ What if you actually thought this was the perfect first question, though? _

_ (12:58) _

JUST ANSWER IT!

_ (1:01) _

_ This is going so well. _

_ (1:02) _

_ No, I can't. _

_ (1:14) _

_ Where did you grow up? _

_ (1:17) _

The Midwest.

_ (1:19) _

_ You know what I mean. _

_ (1:20) _

La Crescent, a little town in Minnesota on the border of Wisconsin.

_ (1:33) _

_ Oooh, a small town boy. _

_ (1:34) _

_ Do you ever miss it? _

_ (1:34) _

It's my turn to ask a question.

_ (1:36) _

Do you live with a roommate or on your own?

_ (1:39) _

_ There are two roommates. What student can afford a place on his own in NYC? _

_ (1:41) _

If that's your question: I've got my own apartment.

_ (1:46) _

_ Why doesn't that surprise me? _

_ (1:47) _

What is that supposed to mean?

_ (1:49) _

My parents paid for it, they just wanted me to have an apartment.

_ (1:51) _

_ And you didn't? Because I could take it over for you. I'd be willing to make the sacrifice. _

_ (1:54) _

Why are you the one asking all the questions?

_ (1:58) _

And no, I didn't. I'd rather live on campus, actually.

_ (2:45) _

_ So why don't you? _

_ (2:47) _

You're breaking all the rules.

_ (2:49) _

_ Not all of them! _

_ (2:50) _

_ But okay, your turn. _

_ (2:06) _

What's your coffee order?

_ (2:09) _

_ Winehouse. _

_ (4:11) _

Is that a new item on the Starbucks menu? Because I haven't been to one in a while.

_ (4:12) _

_ It's my safe word. _

_ (4:17) _

Since when do you have a safe word? And why do you need it for coffee related questions?

_ (4:18) _

_ Reasons, Remus. Reasons. _

_ (4:26) _

_ You're allowed to go again. _

_ (4:28) _

What exactly are you studying?

_ (4:30) _

_ Transfiguration and Defence Against the Dark Arts. _

_ (4:55) _

_ Are you going home for the holidays this time? _

_ (4:59) _

I don't think so, no.

_ (5:01) _

_ Why not? _

_ (5:02) _

Rules, Sirius!

_ (5:05) _

_ Forget about the rules! How can you not go home? _

_ (5:15) _

My parents are busy.

_ (5:17) _

_ Are you serious? _

_ (5:19) _

Yes, positive.

_ (5:24) _

_ I'm sorry. _

_ (5:35) _

Don't be. It's always been this way.

_ (5:36) _

_ That doesn't make it okay. _

_ (5:38) _

I'm not a huge fan of Christmas anyway.

_ (5:40) _

_ Nonsense. _

_ (5:40) _

_ I'm Jewish, and even I love it. _

_ (5:41) _

_ Mission #2 is officially in planning mode. _

_ (5:41) _

No! What?!

_ (5:42) _

_ Shhhh. _

_ (5:43) _

_ Your turn. _

_ (5:44) _

What are you planning?

_ (5:46) _

_ Winehouse. _

_ (5:46) _

You cannot call Winehouse now!!!

_ (5:50) _

_ I can. And I am. _

_ (5:55) _

_ You can go again. _

_ (5:56) _

What are you planning?

_ (5:56) _

_ Remus. _

_ (5:58) _

What are you planning?

_ (5:59) _

_ Are you stuck? _

_ (6:33) _

Fine.

_ (6:36) _

What's the first sentence of the second chapter of the book that's closest to you?

_ (6:38) _

_ Why the second chapter? Isn't it always about the first sentence of the first one? _

_ (6:39) _

No. People are too obsessed with first impressions.

_ (6:40) _

_ Okay. _

_ (6:49) _

_ Can I cheat? This is the longest sentence in the history of sentences. My fingers bleed just by looking at it. _

_ (6:55) _

Then give me your favorite sentence.

_ (6:56) _

_ Of the second chapter? _

_ (6:57) _

Always the second chapter.

_ (6:59) _

_ "I think and I think and I think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it." _

_ (7:20) _

That's a good one.

_ (7:25) _

_ It is. _

_ ~ _

_ (8:55) _

What does your boyfriend think about you texting me all day every day?

_ (8:59) _

_ 1) It's my turn to ask a question. 2) Not all day *every* day. _

_ (9:03) _

You asked way more questions than I did. I'm trying to work against this imbalance that you've created.

_ (9:04) _

And you haven't even asked me anything in over an hour.

_ (9:06) _

_ Dinner. I was having dinner. _

_ (9:07) _

With your boyfriend?

_ (9:21) _

_ Why are you so obsessed with him all of a sudden? _

_ (9:22) _

Because you never talk about him.

_ (9:26) _

_ Not to you. _

_ (9:27) _

And why is that?

_ (9:28) _

_ Don't you think we're balanced by now? _

_ (9:29) _

_ And Winehouse. _

_ (9:34) _

Fine.

_ (9:56) _

Would you let me buy you coffee on Tuesday?

_ (9:58) _

_ That's my thing! You're stealing my thing. Tuesdays are about you, because you are the one who hates them. _

_ (10:01) _

Is that a no?

_ (10:11) _

_ Yes. Don't argue with me! _

_ (10:13) _

I wouldn't.

_ (10:36) _

Would you let me buy you lunch?

_ (10:37) _

_ On Tuesday? _

_ (10:39) _

No. Thursday.

_ (10:40) _

_ Why Thursday? _

_ (10:43) _

It's our 10-week text pal anniversary.

_ (10:45) _

_ That needs a better name. _

_ (10:47) _

_ Wait. Are you suggesting that we meet? _

_ (10:49) _

I didn't say that.

_ (10:50) _

Is that what you want?

_ (10:52) _

_ Oh no. No no no. Don't even try to twist this around. _

_ (10:53) _

Relax.

_ (10:55) _

I'll text you the details.

_ (10:57) _

_ And as always, I'm both scared and intrigued. _

_ (10:59) _

You should be.

_ (11:02) _

...Intrigued. Not scared. Never scared! I'm nice! I'm made of rainbows and fluff and fun, remember?

_ (11:04) _

_ I love how you always ruin your moments of mystery by being a dork. _

_ (11:06) _

Goodnight, Sirius!

_ (11:09) _

_ Goodnight. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is an altered story and was not written by me! Author of the original story can be found by user "Iknowitainteasy" on LiveJournal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting Key:  
> Remus - normal
> 
> Sirius - Italics

**Fri 5 Dec (6:24pm)**

_ So yesterday was crazy. _

(6:45)

Tell me about it. I'm all texted out.

(6:45)

It feels like a hangover.

(6:47)

_ Should I feel insulted? _

(6:50)

Not at all! I was talking about the good kind.

(6:51)

_ There's a good kind? _

(6:53)

Yes, it involves texting you.

(6:54)

And the cure is... more texting!

(6:55)

_ Like the cure to a real hangover is more drinking? _

(6:59)

Exactly.

******

**Sat 6 Dec (11:04am)**

_ I need you to do something for me. _

(11:23)

Do I get to know what it is first?

(11:25)

_ Not really, no. _

(11:26)

Is this part of one of your missions?

(11:28)

_ You're so smart. _

(11:28)

_ This is part of mission #2. _

(11:30)

What do I need to do?

(11:35)

_ Smart and trusting. _

(11:37)

Don't make me regret it!

(11:38)

_ Never. Do you know the Balto statue in Central Park? _

(11:40)

Do I spend at least every Sunday morning in Central Park?

(11:41)

_ I'll take that as a yes. _

(11:43)

_ I need you to be there at 3pm sharp. _

(11:45)

And ...look at the statue?

(11:50)

_ Sure, why not. _

(11:52)

Sirius, you need to tell me more than that if you want me to go. My trust has limits.

(11:53)

_ Trust doesn't have limits. Either you trust a person or you don't. _

(11:55)

Just tell me what to expect!

(11:56)

_ Something magical. _

(11:56)

Sirius.

(12:01pm)

_ Look, you're not going to get robbed or stabbed or the like. It's a public place and that spot is always packed with kids. Trust me. _

(12:04)

_ Take a friend. Or Padfoot! He can protect you from the threats that you're making up in your head. _

(12:06)

Right. Clearly you've never met that dog. He greets strangers like long-lost soulmates.

(12:08)

_ All strangers? _

(12:09)

All of them.

(12:10)

_ Even the creepy ones? _

(12:11)

Even the creepy ones.

(12:14)

_ Are you sure he's from New York? _

(12:16)

I'll never know for sure.

(12:20)

_ So will you be there? Do you have the time? _

(12:21)

I'll think about it.

~

(4:23pm)

Sirius.

(4:26)

Sirius.

(4:33)

Seriously. Sirius!!!

(4:45)

Sirius. I'm hyperventilating.

(4:47)

Siriuseeeee.

(4:49)

_ Yes! Yes, I'm here! _

(4:50)

Oh thank god.

(4:51)

_ What's up? _

(4:52)

What's up?!

(4:52)

How did you know? How?!

(4:53)

_ Know what? _

(4:54)

That I've got a thing for a cappella groups!!!

(4:55)

_ You've got a thing for a cappella groups? _

(4:57)

Sirius!

(4:59)

_ Fine, lucky guess. So you went after all? _

(5:01)

Yesssss. Oh yes. I did. I did and I loved it.

(5:02)

_ Even the Christmas songs? _

(5:03)

Especially the... wait, what?

(5:03)

You sneaky bastard!

(5:05)

_ What? Maybe I'm just familiar with that group and their repertoire. _

(5:06)

I don't know if my gratitude outweighs my anger about you spying on me again.

(5:09)

_ I didn't spy on you! _

(5:11)

Can you see my trust fading? Can you?

(5:12)

_ Remus. I didn't spy on you. There were way too many people, hundreds, and I have no idea what you look like. _

(5:14)

Aha! So you're admitting it.

(5:15)

Now I'm glad I didn't bring Padfoot.

(5:16)

_ Did you bring a friend? _

(5:17)

You don't get to know that.

(5:20)

_ Fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. It was a beautiful sunny snow day. I heard about the performance and I thought you might enjoy it. No harm done. _

(5:21)

_ You liked it, right? _

(5:22)

Yes...

(5:25)

_ And you don't regret going, right? _

(5:30)

I guess.

(5:31)

No, I don't.

(5:33)

It was good.

(5:34)

Really good.

(5:35)

I might have shed a tear or two...

(5:37)

_ See! Did it get you into the holiday spirit? _

(5:40)

Maybe.

(5:41)

_ It was so beautiful that you cried, Remus. _

(5:44)

A tear or two.

(5:45)

_ Remus. _

(5:45)

Okay, yes. Yes, it did. Happy?

(5:46)

_ Very. And so are you. _

(5:50)

What am I gonna do with you?

(5:51)

_ You're going to adore me once this month is over. _

(5:52)

We'll see about that.

******

**Sun 7 Dec (1:12am)**

Sirius?

(1:23)

_ Yes? _

(1:24)

Why didn't you tell me?

(1:26)

_ That I was going to be there? _

(1:28)

Yes.

(1:28)

_ Would you have come in that case? _

(1:30)

Maybe.

(1:31)

I don't know.

(1:31)

_ There's your answer. _

(1:35)

_ Sleep well, Remus. _

(1:36)

Goodnight.

~

(11:03am)

_ How's Padfoot? _

(11:11)

I'm worried about him.

(11:12)

_ Why?? Is he sick? _

(11:14)

Yeah, in his mind.

(11:16)

Wait a second; a picture should explain it all.

(11:20)

He's been doing this for the past thirty minutes. And I'm starting to look the same.

(11:23)

_ He sure likes his snow. _

(11:24)

_ The same? As in, on the ground making snow angels? _

(11:26)

No, the same as in covered in snow!

(11:28)

_ Can I see a picture of that too? _

(11:30)

Sure.

(11:31)

Hang on.

(11:35)

_ Waiting. Once again. _

(11:38)

Patience!

(11:40)

_ Are you having a photoshoot? _

(11:42)

How do I look?

(11:44)

_ Positively adorable! _

(11:45)

_ A little cold, maybe. And I'm not sure if you're happy or not. _

(11:46)

_ What's that on your neck? _

(11:49)

A bow tie.

(11:52)

_ Nice touch! _

******

**Tues 9 Dec (9:23am)**

_ Be sure to get your coffee some time between now and 8pm today! _

(9:29)

You're spoiling me!

(9:36)

_ Just do it, Remus. _

(9:37)

What if I don't want to?

(9:38)

_ What if you're crazy? _

(9:40)

What if I am?

(9:40)

_ What if you're being ridiculous and I'm rethinking the coffee thing? _

(9:44)

You wouldn't.

(9:45)

_ I would. _

(9:46)

No, you wouldn't.

~

(4:47pm)

Damn, coffee has never been this welcome. Thank you!

(4:49)

Can I tell you a secret?

(5:02)

_ Yes. _

(5:03)

I'd seen this coffee shop a thousand times before but I'd never gone in because I thought it couldn't be better than my own, and now I'm endlessly glad I have.

(5:05)

_ My, my, what a secret that was. If only I'd known that coffee in your veins makes you spill all your dirty secrets, I would have gotten you all the coffee in the world for our little Q & A. _

(5:08)

You now know my weakness. Please use this knowledge responsibly.

(5:10)

_ Of course. _

(5:25)

Will you tell me a secret now?

(5:27)

_ It depends. I didn't realize it's national secret sharing day. _

(5:29)

Okay, let me put it this way. Will you answer me a question?

(5:31)

_ Maybe. _

(5:33)

Do you know someone named Lily?

(5:42)

Sirius?

(5:43)

_ Yes? _

(5:46)

Do you?

(5:50)

_ Why? _

(5:53)

Because she made my coffee today and when I told her my name when I ordered her eyes basically popped out of her head and I became the most interesting thing she had ever seen. Unicorn level of interesting.

(6:00)

Your silence speaks volumes.

(6:01)

_ What did she say to you? _

(6:01)

Nothing. Scared?

(6:02)

_ No. _

(6:03)

I gotta say though, she's not exactly good at this spy thing.

(6:03)

_ She's not a spy! She's just one of my coffee people! And she usually doesn't work on Tuesdays. I'm surprised she was there today. _

(6:04)

Sure.

(6:04)

Are you gonna call her now and ask her all about me? ;)

(6:05)

_ No, I'm not going to call her. _

(6:07)

Do you still want me to get my coffee next week?

(6:08)

_ Of course. I've got nothing to hide. _

(6:08)

Good. ;)

(6:09)

_ Good. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is an altered story and was not written by me! Author of the original story can be found by user "Iknowitainteasy" on LiveJournal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting Key:  
> Remus - normal
> 
> Sirius - Italics

**Thurs 11 Dec (9:00am)**

In case you need to be reminded: don't forget to stop by the coffee shop today!

(9:33)

_ Is it my turn now? _

(9:35)

Yep.

(9:39)

_ Lunch? _

(9:40)

Kind of. Define lunch.

(9:41)

Well, okay... slight change of plans.

(9:43)

_ Changing my mood from excited to scared. _

(9:44)

It's time for you to trust *me* now.

(9:44)

_ Yes. That's exactly what I'm scared about. _

(9:46)

This isn't a one-way street, Sirius!

(9:46)

_ I know. _

~

(1:35pm)

_ A cupcake, Remus? That's so... _

(1:45)

Happy anniversary? :P

(1:46)

And yes, I promised you lunch and maybe what you got instead was a lousy, lopsided cupcake, but I really tried. It's made with care.

(1:48)

_ Wait. You made that yourself? _

(1:49)

... I thought that was pretty obvious.

(1:51)

_ Okay, no more bashing your cupcake. It was actually delicious! Thank you. _

(1:55)

Good, because I ate 5 of them and thought so, too.

(1:56)

_ 5? _

(1:58)

I had to try them!

(2:02)

_ Yes, but 5? _

(2:04)

Just to be sure. I didn't want you to get food poisoning. You and the staff.

(2:11)

_ You gave them cupcakes? _

(2:12)

Yes.

(2:15)

_ That makes me feel less special. _

(2:15)

Yours was extra special! And they're your coffee people, they deserved it.

(2:17)

_ An extra special "lousy, lopsided cupcake"? _

(2:22)

Hey! You said it was delicious!

(2:24)

_ It was. See the quotation marks? _

(2:46)

_ Are you blackmailing my coffee people? _

(3:01)

Not really, no. But there's nothing like baked goods to win someone over.

(3:02)

I think they're pretty fond of me now.

(3:02)

We bonded.

(3:04)

And by "we" I mean Lily and me.

(3:04)

Girls love me.

(3:09)

_ Good for you. _

(3:10)

_ I think. _

(3:15)

You've trained her well. Or you threatened her. Which is much more likely.

(3:16)

We made a deal.

(3:18)

_ A deal? _

(3:20)

She doesn't get to talk to you about me if you keep her from talking to me about you.

(3:26)

_ Hypothetically, if this were all true, how would you have achieved that? _

(3:28)

Cupcakes, Sirius, cupcakes. Never underestimate the power of cupcakes and a charming smile.

(3:45)

_ Would that be your smile? _

(3:47)

Maybe.

(3:48)

Actually, 100% yes.

(3:51)

_ Why am I providing you with free coffee, again? _

(3:53)

Because I charmed my way into your life and now you can't imagine living without me?

(3:55)

_ Sure. _

(3:56)

_ Why does being nice always backfire on me? _

(4:02)

I have no idea what you're talking about.

~

(6:14)

_ What makes you think she knows something about me? _

(6:33)

Please.

(6:34)

_ What? _

(6:36)

Unicorn level of interesting, remember?

(6:55)

_ I bet you just had something on your face. _

(6:56)

Yeah, my charming smile.

(6:59)

_ I don't even know what to say to that. _

(7:04)

Because you've been charmed!

(7:05)

_ I can't see you right now, Remus. _

(7:08)

But you can feel it.

(7:11)

_ Sometimes I wonder how one person alone can be such a dork. _

(7:14)

I'm a mystical, magical creature.

******

**Fri 12 Dec (9:45am)**

_ Do you like late-night walks? _

(10:04)

Um... sure?

(10:11)

_ I need you to go for a walk in Brooklyn after 7pm. When it's dark. _

(10:13)

Sirius. We talked about this. I do not have a thing for serial killers! Some people do, but I'm not one of them.

(10:15)

_ Do we really have to go through this again? I promise, you will like it and there will be people around. It's perfectly safe. _

(10:17)

Right.

(10:20)

_ Have I ever let you down? _

(10:21)

No.

(10:22)

Not yet.

(10:34)

_ Ignoring the last part. _

(10:55)

_ Your walk takes place between 13th and 10th Ave from 82nd to 86th street. _

(10:57)

That's oddly specific.

(11:00)

_ Of course it's specific. I don't want you to randomly walk around Brooklyn after dark. What kind of treat would that be? _

(11:02)

We're calling these little missions of yours 'treats' now?

(11:03)

_ Yes. _

(11:05)

_ So I want you to go there, either tonight or tomorrow. Remember, after 7pm. But definitely before 10pm. _

(11:07)

_ And I want you to take a picture of your favorite thing and send it to me. _

(11:10)

You call it a treat, I call it a suicide mission.

(11:12)

_ Drama queen. _

(11:15)

You're awfully demanding and rude for someone who claims to be goodwilling.

(11:16)

_ And you don't know what's good for you. _

~

(9:34pm)

Holy shit.

(9:45)

_? _

(9:46)

I'm sorry.

(9:46)

_ What for? _

(9:47)

For doubting you.

(9:49)

_ You went and you loved it like I knew you would. Say it! _

(9:51)

Say what?

(9:51)

_ Just say it. _

(9:53)

What?

(9:53)

_ Remus. _

(9:55)

Okay. Okay, it was lovely. In a crazy and over the top kind of way, but I loved it.

(9:56)

I have no idea how you think of these things.

(9:57)

Do you have a book called "101 ways to make someone love Christmas"?

(10:01)

_ No. But I do have a book called "101 ways to make Remus love Christmas". It came with "100 ways to make Remus like Tuesdays". 2 for 1! _

(10:04)

And still you keep saying I'm the dork.

(10:05)

_ Because it's the truth. _

(10:08)

Whatever makes you sleep at night.

(10:12)

Oh and

**Thurs 11 Dec (9:00am)**

In case you need to be reminded: don't forget to stop by the coffee shop today!

(9:33)

_ Is it my turn now? _

(9:35)

Yep.

(9:39)

_ Lunch? _

(9:40)

Kind of. Define lunch.

(9:41)

Well, okay... slight change of plans.

(9:43)

_ Changing my mood from excited to scared. _

(9:44)

It's time for you to trust *me* now.

(9:44)

_ Yes. That's exactly what I'm scared about. _

(9:46)

This isn't a one-way street, Sirius!

(9:46)

_ I know. _

~

(1:35pm)

_ A cupcake, Remus? That's so... _

(1:45)

Happy anniversary? :P

(1:46)

And yes, I promised you lunch and maybe what you got instead was a lousy, lopsided cupcake, but I really tried. It's made with care.

(1:48)

_ Wait. You made that yourself? _

(1:49)

... I thought that was pretty obvious.

(1:51)

_ Okay, no more bashing your cupcake. It was actually delicious! Thank you. _

(1:55)

Good, because I ate 5 of them and thought so, too.

(1:56)

_ 5? _

(1:58)

I had to try them!

(2:02)

_ Yes, but 5? _

(2:04)

Just to be sure. I didn't want you to get food poisoning. You and the staff.

(2:11)

_ You gave them cupcakes? _

(2:12)

Yes.

(2:15)

_ That makes me feel less special. _

(2:15)

Yours was extra special! And they're your coffee people, they deserved it.

(2:17)

_ An extra special "lousy, lopsided cupcake"? _

(2:22)

Hey! You said it was delicious!

(2:24)

_ It was. See the quotation marks? _

(2:46)

_ Are you blackmailing my coffee people? _

(3:01)

Not really, no. But there's nothing like baked goods to win someone over.

(3:02)

I think they're pretty fond of me now.

(3:02)

We bonded.

(3:04)

And by "we" I mean Lily and me.

(3:04)

Girls love me.

(3:09)

_ Good for you. _

(3:10)

_ I think. _

(3:15)

You've trained her well. Or you threatened her. Which is much more likely.

(3:16)

We made a deal.

(3:18)

_ A deal? _

(3:20)

She doesn't get to talk to you about me if you keep her from talking to me about you.

(3:26)

_ Hypothetically, if this were all true, how would you have achieved that? _

(3:28)

Cupcakes, Sirius, cupcakes. Never underestimate the power of cupcakes and a charming smile.

(3:45)

_ Would that be your smile? _

(3:47)

Maybe.

(3:48)

Actually, 100% yes.

(3:51)

_ Why am I providing you with free coffee, again? _

(3:53)

Because I charmed my way into your life and now you can't imagine living without me?

(3:55)

_ Sure. _

(3:56)

_ Why does being nice always backfire on me? _

(4:02)

I have no idea what you're talking about.

~

(6:14)

_ What makes you think she knows something about me? _

(6:33)

Please.

(6:34)

_ What? _

(6:36)

Unicorn level of interesting, remember?

(6:55)

_ I bet you just had something on your face. _

(6:56)

Yeah, my charming smile.

(6:59)

_ I don't even know what to say to that. _

(7:04)

Because you've been charmed!

(7:05)

_ I can't see you right now, Remus. _

(7:08)

But you can feel it.

(7:11)

_ Sometimes I wonder how one person alone can be such a dork. _

(7:14)

I'm a mystical, magical creature.

******

**Fri 12 Dec (9:45am)**

_ Do you like late-night walks? _

(10:04)

Um... sure?

(10:11)

_ I need you to go for a walk in Brooklyn after 7pm. When it's dark. _

(10:13)

Sirius. We talked about this. I do not have a thing for serial killers! Some people do, but I'm not one of them.

(10:15)

_ Do we really have to go through this again? I promise, you will like it and there will be people around. It's perfectly safe. _

(10:17)

Right.

(10:20)

_ Have I ever let you down? _

(10:21)

No.

(10:22)

Not yet.

(10:34)

_ Ignoring the last part. _

(10:55)

_ Your walk takes place between 13th and 10th Ave from 82nd to 86th street. _

(10:57)

That's oddly specific.

(11:00)

_ Of course it's specific. I don't want you to randomly walk around Brooklyn after dark. What kind of treat would that be? _

(11:02)

We're calling these little missions of yours 'treats' now?

(11:03)

_ Yes. _

(11:05)

_ So I want you to go there, either tonight or tomorrow. Remember, after 7pm. But definitely before 10pm. _

(11:07)

_ And I want you to take a picture of your favorite thing and send it to me. _

(11:10)

You call it a treat, I call it a suicide mission.

(11:12)

_ Drama queen. _

(11:15)

You're awfully demanding and rude for someone who claims to be goodwilling.

(11:16)

_ And you don't know what's good for you. _

~

(9:34pm)

Holy shit.

(9:45)

_? _

(9:46)

I'm sorry.

(9:46)

_ What for? _

(9:47)

For doubting you.

(9:49)

_ You went and you loved it like I knew you would. Say it! _

(9:51)

Say what?

(9:51)

_ Just say it. _

(9:53)

What?

(9:53)

_ Remus. _

(9:55)

Okay. Okay, it was lovely. In a crazy and over the top kind of way, but I loved it.

(9:56)

I have no idea how you think of these things.

(9:57)

Do you have a book called "101 ways to make someone love Christmas"?

(10:01)

_ No. But I do have a book called "101 ways to make Remus love Christmas". It came with "100 ways to make Remus like Tuesdays". 2 for 1! _

(10:04)

And still you keep saying I'm the dork.

(10:05)

_ Because it's the truth. _

(10:08)

Whatever makes you sleep at night.

(10:12)

Oh and

(10:15)

_ That was your favorite? _

(10:17)

Yes.

(10:18)

_ Why? _

(10:20)

It looked like a real home.

(10:20)

_ They're all real homes. _

(10:24)

I know, but this one didn't feel staged. It looked warm, lived in.

(10:25)

It didn't look perfect and that's what made it perfect.

(11:01)

Wrong answer?

(11:03)

_ No. Perfect answer. _

******

**Sat 13 Dec (4:05pm)**

Can you believe all the snow?

(4:23)

_ Are we talking about the weather now? _

(4:25)

I wanted to talk to you. I've got nothing to talk about. So this is what I talk about.

(4:27)

_ That's... refreshingly honest, I suppose. _

(4:34)

Actually, do you ever just lie on your bed and stare at the ceiling?

(4:35)

_ Is that what you're doing right now? _

(4:36)

Yes.

(4:36)

_ Are you okay? _

(4:38)

Yeah, I'm just having a really lazy Saturday.

(4:41)

_ If you're lying on your bed, why do you even care about the snow? _

(4:42)

Like I said, I just wanted to talk to you.

(4:43)

_ I see. _

(4:44)

_ I'm touched. _

(4:45)

_ But you said that you don't have anything to talk about, so what are we going to talk about? _

(4:47)

You're going to tell me about your next treat.

(4:48)

_ That's not going to happen. _

(4:48)

Sirius.

(4:49)

_ Never _ .

(4:49)

Please.

(4:52)

_ No. _

(4:55)

Fine. I'll just keep lying here, staring at my ceiling. And I'm gonna be miserable. Do you want that? Do you want me to be miserable?

(4:59)

_ 1) You said you were having a lazy Saturday, so don't even try to make me feel bad about this. 2) You'll just have to wait and see. I'm doing this to make you feel better and you know that. Plus, they've always been surprises and that's part of what makes them good. _

(6:01)

I hate that that makes sense.

******

**Sunday 14 Dec (10:02am)**

Sirius.

(10:03)

Sirius!

(10:08)

Sirius. Are you awake?

(10:10)

_ Yes. _

(10:11)

_ Now I am. _

(10:12)

I made a new friend at the park today!!!

(10:14)

_ Remus. _

(10:14)

_ Remus, honey, you are 5. _

(10:17)

Do you wanna see? Do you?

(10:18)

Yes, you do.

(10:20)

_ Just when I wanted to be annoyed with you for waking me up and being a ridiculous puppy, when I'm still stumbling through my quest for coffee, you do something like that. _

(10:22)

Something like what?

(10:24)

_ Like *that*. _

(10:25)

I named it.

(10:27)

_ I'm sure you did. _

(10:27)

Watson.

(10:30)

_ Watson. You named a squirrel Watson. _

(10:31)

Yes!

(10:32)

_ Did you take him home with you? _

(10:33)

No. He's a free spirit. Can't be tamed.

(10:36)

_ And what did Padfoot have to say about this new friend? Doesn't he hunt squirrels? _

(10:38)

No. He knows better than to mess with the squirrel mafia.

(10:43)

_ Sometimes. Sometimes I just... _

(10:46)

I know, Sirius. I know. Sometimes I can't handle my adorableness either. :D

(10:48)

_ Not what I was going to say. _

(10:49)

Please. Exactly what you were going to say.

(10:15)

_ That was your favorite? _

(10:17)

Yes.

(10:18)

_ Why? _

(10:20)

It looked like a real home.

(10:20)

_ They're all real homes. _

(10:24)

I know, but this one didn't feel staged. It looked warm, lived in.

(10:25)

It didn't look perfect and that's what made it perfect.

(11:01)

Wrong answer?

(11:03)

_ No. Perfect answer. _

******

**Sat 13 Dec (4:05pm)**

Can you believe all the snow?

(4:23)

_ Are we talking about the weather now? _

(4:25)

I wanted to talk to you. I've got nothing to talk about. So this is what I talk about.

(4:27)

_ That's... refreshingly honest, I suppose. _

(4:34)

Actually, do you ever just lie on your bed and stare at the ceiling?

(4:35)

_ Is that what you're doing right now? _

(4:36)

Yes.

(4:36)

_ Are you okay? _

(4:38)

Yeah, I'm just having a really lazy Saturday.

(4:41)

_ If you're lying on your bed, why do you even care about the snow? _

(4:42)

Like I said, I just wanted to talk to you.

(4:43)

_ I see. _

(4:44)

_ I'm touched. _

(4:45)

_ But you said that you don't have anything to talk about, so what are we going to talk about? _

(4:47)

You're going to tell me about your next treat.

(4:48)

_ That's not going to happen. _

(4:48)

Sirius.

(4:49)

_ Never _ .

(4:49)

Please.

(4:52)

_ No. _

(4:55)

Fine. I'll just keep lying here, staring at my ceiling. And I'm gonna be miserable. Do you want that? Do you want me to be miserable?

(4:59)

_ 1) You said you were having a lazy Saturday, so don't even try to make me feel bad about this. 2) You'll just have to wait and see. I'm doing this to make you feel better and you know that. Plus, they've always been surprises and that's part of what makes them good. _

(6:01)

I hate that that makes sense.

******

**Sunday 14 Dec (10:02am)**

Sirius.

(10:03)

Sirius!

(10:08)

Sirius. Are you awake?

(10:10)

_ Yes. _

(10:11)

_ Now I am. _

(10:12)

I made a new friend at the park today!!!

(10:14)

_ Remus. _

(10:14)

_ Remus, honey, you are 5. _

(10:17)

Do you wanna see? Do you?

(10:18)

Yes, you do.

(10:20)

_ Just when I wanted to be annoyed with you for waking me up and being a ridiculous puppy, when I'm still stumbling through my quest for coffee, you do something like that. _

(10:22)

Something like what?

(10:24)

_ Like *that*. _

(10:25)

I named it.

(10:27)

_ I'm sure you did. _

(10:27)

Watson.

(10:30)

_ Watson. You named a squirrel Watson. _

(10:31)

Yes!

(10:32)

_ Did you take him home with you? _

(10:33)

No. He's a free spirit. Can't be tamed.

(10:36)

_ And what did Padfoot have to say about this new friend? Doesn't he hunt squirrels? _

(10:38)

No. He knows better than to mess with the squirrel mafia.

(10:43)

_ Sometimes. Sometimes I just... _

(10:46)

I know, Sirius. I know. Sometimes I can't handle my adorableness either. :D

(10:48)

_ Not what I was going to say. _

(10:49)

Please. Exactly what you were going to say.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is an altered story and was not written by me! Author of the original story can be found by user "Iknowitainteasy" on LiveJournal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting Key:  
> Remus - normal
> 
> Sirius - Italics

**Tues 16 Dec (3:45pm)**

Tuesdays. Tuesdays just aren't the same anymore, Sirius.

(3:59)

_...What about these new Tuesdays? _

(4:01)

It's silly.

(4:05)

_ What is? _

(4:06)

Knowing that there's a cup of coffee waiting for me almost makes me forget that I kind of hate Tuesdays. That's silly.

(4:09)

_ Almost? _

(4:11)

Well, there are problems that even coffee can't solve.

(4:13)

But coffee - coffee is a hug in a cup and a hug is always a good place to start, don't you think?

(4:15)

_ Wait. Isn't tea supposed to be a hug in a cup? _

(4:20)

Tea is for when you're sick.

(4:23)

_ And sick people don't need hugs? _

(4:24)

Different kind of hugs.

(4:26)

_ So, coffee is...? _

(4:29)

Coffee is everything that's good in this world.

(4:30)

_ Wow. You really do love your coffee. _

(4:33)

You think?

(4:35)

Happy Hanukkah by the way.

(4:35)

If I'm right it starts tonight.

(4:43)

_ Thank you. _

(4:44)

_ You googled that, didn't you? _

(4:45)

...No?

(4:46)

_ Sure you didn't. I thought you said you hated Google? _

(4:47)

Hey now. "Hate" is a strong word.

******

**Wednesday 17 Dec (5:23pm)**

_ It's time. _

(5:45)

For?

(5:47)

_ Museum of Natural History. Any day you want, but preferably this week. Otherwise you'd mess up my schedule. _

(5:47)

Schedule.

(5:48)

We have a schedule now?

(5:50)

_ Yes. This is serious business. _

(5:51)

My treats are serious business.

(5:51)

_ Correct. _

(5:59)

What's so special about the AMNH?

(6:00)

Well, apart from the obvious.

(6:04)

_ Remus, please. _

(6:06)

_ Your ticket will be at the museum's box office; they know you're coming. You'll get directions from there. _

(6:08)

Sirius.

(6:10)

Seriously, Sirius. Do you have friends everywhere or do you just know how to pull strings?

(6:11)

_ My methods shall remain secret. _

(6:13)

Of course.

(6:18)

How long is this gonna take? The treat, I mean.

(6:20)

_ Depends. I guess you could stay there for 5 minutes or the entire day. It's your choice. _

(6:21)

_ Although I do have a little task for you. _

(6:25)

A task? But this is supposed to be a treat.

(6:27)

_ And it is. Doesn't mean you won't have to work for it. _

(6:28)

That's new.

(6:30)

_ This is where we go back to you trusting me. You'll enjoy it, I'm sure. _

(6:31)

Okay.

(6:45)

What's my task?

(6:48)

_ Details when you get there. _

(6:48)

That's what I thought.

******

**Thurs 18 Dec (2:05pm)**

_ This is my last boring Thursday class. _

(2:06)

For the year?

(2:06)

_ Yes. And it's going to be even more boring now that I've already passed it. What's the point? _

(2:07)

Why don't you skip it, then?

(2:08)

_ Remus. When I first told you about this back in October, you said I should pay attention. Now you're telling me to leave? I'm shocked. It's like I don't even know you anymore. _

(2:09)

Maybe you're having a bad influence on me. Or maybe it really doesn't matter, because you've already passed.

(2:10)

_ Both. _

(2:10)

_ I can't just leave now. _

(2:11)

Did the class already start?

(2:11)

_ No, but I'm already seated. _

(2:11)

And what about the teacher?

(2:12)

_ Hasn't arrived yet. _

(2:12)

Get out of there. Quick!

(2:13)

_ Remus _ !

(2:13)

Do it!

(2:14)

_ And then what? _

(2:14)

And then you go do something nice, something you like.

(2:15)

I bet finals are just as exhausting for you as they are for me.

(2:16)

_ You're to blame if something goes wrong. _

(2:16)

Don't be ridiculous. What could go wrong?

(2:17)

_ Okay. Okay, I'm doing it. _

(2:19)

Yes! :)

(2:20)

_ You're acting like you're the one who just managed to get the afternoon off. _

(2:23)

I'm living through you.

(2:25)

Actually, could you go grab a burger and describe the experience to me? Thanks.

(2:26)

_ Instant regret. _

(2:28)

Pizza?

(2:29)

_ No. _

(2:30)

Fries?

(2:33)

_ You're gross. _

(2:41)

_ Wait. That's your idea of doing something nice? _

(2:44)

Would that be so wrong? Food, Sirius. Delicious food.

(2:46)

_ You sound just like my brother. _

(2:49)

Oh, there's a brother?

(2:50)

_ Yes. _

(2:55)

_ You're just making puppy eyes right now, aren't you? _

(2:56)

No?

(2:58)

How did you know?

(2:59)

_ I'm onto you. _

(3:01)

And I'm not impressed. Now go get that burger.

(3:04)

_ Sometimes I wish I knew your last name, because in moments like these, you really don't deserve to be called by your first one. _

(3:06)

Less texting, more burgers.

(3:09)

_ Goodbye, C! I cannot talk to you anymore in fear of brain damage. (C either stands for creepy, conceited, crazy, or cheesy. Or Christie. As in Chris Christie. You choose.) _

(3:11)

I love it when you get creative.

(3:13)

But I actually think C stands for child. I'm 100% sure.

(3:15)

_ Yes, because you're 5. _

(3:17)

Please. 5 ½.

~

(5:34)

What did you end up doing?

(5:45)

_ I went to get coffee. _

(5:47)

Ha! See! Everything that's good in this world.

******

**Sat 20 Dec (12:01pm)**

There's a line.

(12:05)

_ What? _

(12:06)

At the museum. There's a line.

(12:06)

_ I'm sorry? _

(12:07)

_ Wait. Are you live-texting this? _

(12:08)

I might be.

(12:10)

_ That's a first. _

(12:11)

Maybe I'm doing it because this is the first time I've had to wait.

(12:11)

_ And the suspense is killing you. _

(12:12)

Actually, yes.

(12:13)

_ This is exciting! _

(12:13)

We'll see. Going in now.

(12:18)

Is this gonna be a scavenger hunt?

(12:20)

_ Not really, you're just taking one tiny detour. _

(12:21)

Is that your handwriting?

(12:23)

_ Of course it is. _

(12:23)

Huh.

(12:24)

_ What? _

(12:27)

Don't laugh, but that kind of makes you more real.

(12:28)

_ I'm quite real, Remus. _

(12:30)

I know.

(12:31)

Okay. First stop: North American Mammals. Why?

(12:34)

_ What does the note say? _

(12:36)

It says I should go there to visit my friends.

(12:45)

...the squirrels, Sirius?! How very morbid of you.

(12:48)

_ What? Why?! _

(12:50)

They're dead.

(12:51)

_ But they'll always be there. That makes them eternal. _

(12:55)

Okay, I guess that's not the worst way to end up for a squirrel. I'll ask Watson about this tomorrow.(1:11)

Second stop: Milstein Hall of Ocean Life, because "it's one of my favorite places to be in New York." Really?

(1:13)

_ Yes. _

(1:14)

_ I dare you to sit down or even better, lie down and look up. _

(1:17)

They let you do that?

(1:20)

_ Sure. The kids do it all the time. _

(1:22)

And you?

(1:23)

_ And me. _

(1:24)

_ No really, do it. _

(1:27)

Okay.

(1:30)

This is nice. I can see the appeal.

(1:33)

It's calming.

(1:45)

Wow, okay, I could stay here all day.

(1:54)

When do they close again?

(1:59)

_ This does make me quite happy, but you've still got a third and final stop. _

(2:03)

Mhhhhhh. Just a little longer.

(2:05)

_ Are you mocking me now? _

(2:09)

No!! I swear, this feels like therapy.

(2:13)

How come I didn't know about this?

(2:15)

_ I guess you're welcome? _

(2:16)

Thank you.

(2:33)

_ Are you still there? _

(2:35)

...yes?

(2:36)

_ And you're actually lying down? _

(2:36)

Yes.

(2:37)

_ All this time? _

(2:38)

Yes.

(2:38)

_ They do close before 6pm, you know. _

(2:40)

I know.

(2:42)

Remember when I said I was staring at my ceiling?

(2:44)

_ Yes? _

(2:47)

This is that, only SO much better.

(2:52)

Okay. Moving on. I can do this.

(2:54)

Grand Gallery, here I come.

(2:59)

_ This is the Christmas part of the treat. _

(2:59)

I... I can see that.

(3:01)

Damn.

(3:03)

How do you come up with these things, Sirius?

(3:05)

_ I didn't build the tree. _

(3:06)

Still.

(3:09)

Can I open the second note now?

(3:10)

_ Yes, go ahead. _

(3:12)

I just laughed out loud. People are staring.

(3:13)

I'm not sure I know how to do that.

(3:15)

_ There are people there to help you. _

(3:18)

But it's mostly kids doing it!

(3:19)

_ And you're 5. You can do this. _

(3:19)

_ Sorry, 5 ½. _

(3:22)

Does it have to be something specific?

(3:25)

_ Whatever you want. Just remember to send me a picture! _

(3:33)

These kids are so much better than me, holy shit.

(3:38)

There's this amazingly talented girl next to me. I could steal hers and pretend it's mine.

(3:42)

She's side-eyeing me now, though.

(3:43)

Damn, my plan is flawed.

(3:45)

_ Come on. _

(3:46)

This is my 4th try...

(3:50)

5th.

(3:55)

6th.

(4:03)

YES!

(4:07)

Okay, I admit that I had help. But I'm proud of this. Don't mock me.

(4:09)

_ I would never mock this! I'm impressed. _

(4:11)

It could be Padfoot. After he's eaten too much.

(4:12)

_ Or after he's rolled around in the grass instead of snow. _

(4:14)

Grass doesn't do it for him.

(4:21)

Sirius?

(4:22)

_ Yes? _

(4:24)

This has been my favorite.

(4:27)

_ Your favorite treat? _

(4:28)

Yes.

(4:30)

_ I'm glad. _

(4:30)

_ But I do hope that there's still room for a little more. _

(4:33)

Always. Bring it on!

(4:35)

_ You bet. :) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the 10 day wait! I've been suuuper distracted recently. I'll try to be quicker with an update next time :) 
> 
> Hi em-dawg....


End file.
